Self-care and I are NOT friends.

By: Charmaine J. Patterson

No truer words have been spoken. I read this in a headline from Drew Barrymore’s recent feature with InStyle and I had to see what else she had to say. 

“This f---ing bubble bath approach is so irritating,” Drew also said. “That doesn’t bring me self-care or joy. Having my kids’ stuff in a system, lined up, their shoes and jackets and their backpacks, that makes me feel like I won the morning.”

In the past couple of years, self-care has become this trendy practice that was said to be all things mani-pedis and spa appointments. I’m so happy we’ve evolved. 

We now acknowledge that self-care is also about setting boundaries and doing the best we can to embrace inner-peace and anything that encourages it. It might look more like eating a healthy meal or purging all of your old clothes. 

As a wife, mom, and woman who’s pursuing my dreams, I still have to remember that doing my best is my own version of self-care. And if I don’t check everything off my to-do list, the world -- and my world -- will not fall apart. 

For me, sometimes it does look like getting out of the house and treating myself (i.e. a mani-pedi). But that’s not all it is. I just think sometimes we get caught up in the physical aspect and forget that spiritual and mental health are important when practicing self-care too. 

So if we’re talking about the mainstream, fake version of self-care… get somebody else to do it. 

Instead, I wanted to offer a few different self-care options that could really be effective.

• Have a social media-free day ( this is seriously life-changing)
• Do a random act of kindness 
• Make a list of things you’re grateful for 
• Put “Me time” on your calendar and do something you truly enjoy/relaxing (this might be the time to get that mani-pedi or a massage)
• Listen to encouraging and uplifting music 
• Call a relative or friend you haven’t spoken to in a while to just say hi 
• Learn a new hobby that you find therapeutic